When To Let Go by J.M. Sevilla

When To Let Go


Three stories. One book. Six lives intertwined. 

This is a story that starts at childhood and ends with adulthood. It's about the first time your lips meet and the last time they part. It's the free falling of love and the pain of crashing. It's broken promises and stolen kisses. It's reaching for the sky and letting dreams slip away. It's the past controlling the present and the present defining the future. It's learning when to stay and when to go. It's the story of the Baxter Triplets and the ones they fell in love with.


When To Let Go is the story of the Baxter triplets and the people they fall in love with. The Baxter triplets you will know from the end of the Marked series if you have read that (the Marked series is their parents story). Man did this book do a number on me. I was already in a sad reminiscing mood because of the day it was (the anniversary of a loved ones death) and for some reason I thought this would be a fun, light read. I was expecting it to be more like the authors other works, but it wasn't in a good way. This was such a downer for me in a really great way. Sometimes I like reading something that will rip my heart out, smash it into a billion pieces, then put it all back together again.

The story opens with Parker and Ava, brother and sister who have a terrible mother who has even worse boyfriends. Parker is ten and trying to keep his kid sister safe. He tries to keep all the bad things that happened to him from happening to her. He is her protector and he would do anything for her. Quickly bad things happen and they end up in foster care where Parker meets Ryder, another kid with issues. Ryder quickly becomes like a brother to Parker and Ava and they are each others family now. Only Parker and Ava get adopted and loose track of Ryder.

Once they are adopted that is where the Baxter triplets come in. Their adoptive moms are bff with the Baxter triplets mom. Up until this point I wasn't really invested in the story that much. The writing felt kind of detached, but it was still interesting. Once the Baxter's get involved then I really started to love this heartbreaking read. As I said I was reading this on the anniversary of the death of a loved one so I might have been a bit more susceptible to the sadness of the events that happened, and it was a kind of depressing read for me until the end, but I loved it. I loved most of the characters and how everyone came together and how this wasn't just an easy love story. It had a lot of depth that I don't see in a lot of books. Even when there are struggles in other books it didn't feel like this one. In this story there are so many points when you are just like how are they ever going to get together? How will they ever work it out? Really a great read.

So let's talk about the characters. My favorites were Ava and Wes. Ava had something happen to her when she was younger, but the really bad stuff didn't leave scars like they did for Parker. She still is not confident and lacks self esteem, never sure people actually like her or that she is attractive or anything like that. She broke my heart the most as she is so innocent and susceptible to terrible people. Her "friend" was so heartbreaking. You hate her right from the beginning, but Ava doesn't realize how terrible she is. It doesn't help that the so called friend plants these ideas in her head, ideas that are similar to what Ava thinks so they end up making things worse. Wes is amazing with her. I loved that at eight years old he knew Ava was the one for him. I love that he never wavered from that for a moment. I loved him. Even though he obviously loved her so much, Ava has a hard time always seeing that and understanding that he does not and will never want someone else. It doesn't help that Ava has a learning disability so she doesn't think she is smart and beautiful and everything like Wes really deserves. At least she doesn't always think that way. Thanks "friend"! Their story is so heartbreaking to me I just can not get them out of my head. What happens is probably good in the long run as it helps with some issues, they probably needed what happened to happen, but man did it crush me when I was reading it. I was so attached to the characters I almost cried for them. Loved it.

At first sight Violet did not like Parker. He has major issues and you cannot help but feel bad for him. He doesn't always know how to deal with his feelings in a constructive way so he acts out. Noah is a godsend for him as he knows what it is like to have that anger inside and not know what to do with it. He still has a lot of issues, but Violet and he form a bond. They were really heartbreaking as well as you can see how much he cares, but because of things he hasn't dealt with he keeps messing up until it seems to be too late. Parker is one of those kids that you just want to magically fix and make everything better for. It was a really rough ride for the two of them.

Then we have the last two, Ryder and Maggie. I loved Ryder. He is such a sweet, kind, caring person. He has issues just like Parker, he doesn't like to be touched, he doesn't talk much, he cannot be in an enclosed space, etc, but he is still the sweetest boy ever. I was so happy when he came back into Parker and Ava's life. I was glad to see him again and watch him grow. Seeing Ryder at the end was just amazing to see how far he had come. I loved him. Maggie on the other hand....I didn't care for her for most of the book. Her insane need to be the best no matter the cost...I really did not like that. I would get so angry with her that if she were a real person I wouldn't not speak to her. It is one thing to risk your own life when you are being stupid, but to do it with other people in the car and all so that you can win race? That is unacceptable. My loved one died in a car accident so I had no compassion for her and her recklessness in that regards. I just don't understand her. I don't think I ever will understand that mindset. And her whole I like X, but I need to be the best first and then maybe I will get together with him thing just really doesn't make any sense. She says at one point that she worries she will be on top, but he won't be waiting for her anymore. Really it is like why would he? In the second half of the book some things happened with her that made me truly hate her for a while. I wanted her to suffer more, for people to be angrier with her, to have her really own up to her mistakes. I don't know that she really did enough for me, but by the end she was alright again. She helps Ryder and since I love him I can't help but forgive her as well.

This book definitely has a lot of ups and downs. It had moments that broke my heart into a million pieces. Moments that had me in tears, moments that ripped me apart. Moments that I was so angry, and moments that I was so happy. I had to stop reading at one point to eat dinner at a particularly sad part and my husband asked me about what I was reading. I couldn't even talk about it or I would have started crying. It just affected me a lot and after dinner I had to tell him to let me be for a bit because I needed to finish the story or I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. The ending almost made me cry because I was so happy for the characters. It was an emotional read for me for sure.

There is however one thing that I must mention that I did not like about the book. This story follows these kids from a young age into adulthood, only the writing didn't feel like that was the case. Especially when they are really young. I didn't really see a change from when Ava was eight and when she was eighteen. I felt like it was the same character, almost the same age from start to finish. So at the beginning it was hard to keep track of how old everyone was supposed to be as everyone felt older than they were. I loved this story, but the characters didn't actually grow up completely for me. Still an amazing read that I would highly recommend. 

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★1/2

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