Ruin by Rachel Van Dyken



I'm not your typical girl. I've been running away from the memories that haunt me for so long that depression has become my only comfort. I was content in the darkness...until Wes Michals offered to be my light.

I didn't know that time wasn't my ally -- that every second that ticked past was one step closer to the end of something that was beginning to mean the end of myself. He tried to warn me. He promised me all he was able to offer--each moment as it came--but it would never be enough.

Sometimes when you think it's the end, it's only the beginning. Wes thought he could save me, but in giving me everything, he ruined me. Because after one kiss, one touch, I couldn't--I wouldn't ever be the same.

And from that moment on, his heartbeat became my own.


This was my second read through of Ruin. I enjoyed it the first time, but after reading Toxic a few days ago I thought I would give it another read. I wanted to see if the story was too quick like I found Toxic to be, if the story was as good as I remembered. I suppose spoilers ahead.

Wes and Kiersten literally bump into each other on Kiersten's first day at college. She comes from a small town and has pretty much shut herself off from everyone and everything for the past two years. She is a little naive on the ways of the world, and has night terrors caused by the antidepressants she takes.

Wes is trying to live life and treasure every moment, especially once he meets Kiersten. He wasn't planning on falling for anyone since he doesn't know if he has much time left. He only potentially has a few months left to live. When he meets Kiersten he is drawn to her, and he keeps his illness from her. He tries to not let her fall in love with him, but it just doesn't work. He helps her to come out of her shell. She tries to get her to do things that might scare her and to really live. Even though she has had tragedy in her past, she is still here. She should treasure these moments. Wes had some great inspirational moments. There were so many times when I was like yes! Exactly! It was nice to see he had his deep moments that weren't cheesy. They were just good advice for everyone. I liked it.

Despite Wes' best intentions he and Kiersten grow closer. They both fall in love, but Wes' trying to keep her from doing just that can be confusing for her. She did make some good friends with Gabe and her roommate Lisa. On my first read through I was gearing myself up for Wes to die at the end. I was ready for it and ready to see how Kiersten was strong enough now to not fall apart. She has some great friends and I was ready for it. It was sad, I was sorry he was going to die, but from the very first page I was preparing myself. When he miraculously lived I was not that happy. I didn't mind that he lived, but the way it happened I really didn't like. Especially not when I was prepared for the opposite to happen. The whole miracle thing was too much for me. On this read through, since I knew how it ended, I didn't mind it as much. I just kind of skipped the miracle part and just went with he was in the 50% live group. It did make it better and I did enjoy it more than I did on the first read through, just because I knew what happened.

Rating: 3.5/5
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